A friend of mine recommended that I write Oran’s birth story down so that I can look back on it later. 7 months in and I’m finally getting around to it. Although I would have loved to have written all of this down sooner, I have had a lot of time to reflect on Oran’s arrival and how God works things together for good.
My pregnancy with Oran was pretty smooth. Despite having
lost Amara 2 years earlier, I was surprisingly at peace. (If you are new here,
you can read about our Amara Joy here). Because of my history of losing Amara, however,
I was going in for additional sonograms with a high-risk doctor. Even though I
wasn’t technically considered high risk, my doctor wanted to do some additional
monitoring to be sure. Every appointment that Trenton and I went to for 8 months
was perfect. There were no health concerns. Trenton and I went in for our last
scan with the high-risk doctor on May 18th. Everything seemed
routine as they did the sonogram and we heard Oran’s heartbeat, the one thing I
held my breath for at each checkup. After the sonographer left the room, we
expected to be released within a few minutes as was typical of these appointments.
But we waited. Enter anxious thoughts. I could feel that something was wrong
and my heart was starting to sink. Finally, the doctor came in. Another red flag,
as she normally sent her nurse in to release us. More anxious thoughts entered.
“Good news is baby is fine for now.”
More anxious thoughts. Heart and stomach sinking. Body
numbing.
She went on to explain that the typical amount of fluid they
measure on sonograms at this point in pregnancy was about 13 cm. and my fluid
was sitting at 52 cm. with no explanation as to why. She explained that there could
be something going on with Oran that couldn’t be seen on a sonogram, something we
wouldn’t know until he was born, something that could require minor surgery.
She also said it could be nothing and that sometimes there is no explanation. She
then recommended that we check in at the hospital that evening to start the
inducing process because we were looking at the possibility of a prolapsed
umbilical cord and stillbirth if we didn’t intervene.
8 months pregnant, just been told that there could be something
wrong with my baby and that he is coming a whole month earlier than expected. My
peaceful pregnancy was no longer.
Trenton and I drove home to gather up our hospital bags,
which I had insisted we pack just a few days prior. Thank you, Type A personality.
I cried the whole way home while Trenton called family to inform them. I wasn’t
in a state to talk to anyone.
We still don’t know why I had so much fluid and we may never
have an answer. But as I have reflected on Oran’s birth story, I can’t help but
think of how Amara’s story played a HUGE role in getting our son here safely.
I do not believe in the phrase, “Everything happens for a
reason” but I do believe that God redeems. “We know that God causes all things
to work together for good to those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28). He did not
cause Amara Joy’s death, but he continues to show us his goodness and love
through her story.
Because of our history with losing Amara, we were going to
see a high-risk doctor for my pregnancy with Oran. Since we were seeing a high-risk
doctor, we were able to catch that I had too much fluid. As a result, we were
able to intervene so that Oran could be born safely into this world. Big sister Amara was looking out for her
little brother.
I do not believe that Amara had to die so that Oran could
live. Oran could have still been born healthy had Amara lived. But God took a
terrible situation and showed us how much he loves both of our babies. He
allowed us to see our Amara become a protective big sister in a spiritual sense
even though we won’t ever see it physically. What a beautiful reunion in Heaven
it’s going to be someday.
