My Path

I've been wandering on my road and I feel as if I've lost my sense of direction. I've come to a dead
halt and I do not have my '93 mercury topaz to drive me out of there (a little lol moment).
Sure, I put on a good show but honestly, I haven't REALLY been looking for any guidance. Therefore, I'm just standing there. I don't want to walk any further. I'm not prepared for this. No one told me the Life road was going to be THIS hard. I mean sure, I've heard the occassional "stay young as long as you can," but seriously, couldn't you give me a little more detailed advice. "Come on, work with me here." But it's too late, I'm on my own. Sure, I've got my family and friends but they're walking down their road at the moment. Finally, I fall down on my knees and cry out for help. It is then that I hear a faint voice. It's God and he's calling out for me as well. Me...of all people!

I think Casting Crowns put it pretty well in their song, In Me, when they said "How refreshing to know You don't need me, how amazing to find that You want me" and also, "I'll never get by living on my own ability." It is all too true.

I cannot possibly get by in life living on my own ability. It's impossible. And don't say it's not because it most definitely is. But sometimes, we are just too proud to ask for help. We go through one struggle and we think "Oh, it's no biggie. I can do this by myself" and then we go through another struggle and we say the same thing. But then...everything starts to overflow. You're carrying a huge burden on your shoulders and you cannot lift it off alone. The burden pushes you to the ground and you finally call out for help. And God hears you. He actually hears you. Even though you have refused his presence for so long, he hears you and he wants you. He doesn't need you at all, but he wants you. And sometimes, all we want is to be wanted.

GOD WANTS ME. I've refused his presence for so long and yet he wants me. He doesn't need me, he wants me. Therefore, I'm here, typing this. And I'm trusting in the Lord to get me through every stepping stone in my life. I'm setting my sights on his word and I'm going to fall in love with Him.

In Grateful Conclusion

Oy. I must admit that this year has been slightly hectic with the ups and downs of being a junior in high school. There have been times when I thought I could not possibly make it through another day. However, I've managed to keep my head held high and I am oh so grateful to say that this year is finally coming to an end.

The start of the year was only a sneak preview of what my life would be like. The first week was absolutley horrid and I remember coming home and crying after the very first day. Tears were rolling down my face as I raced to finish the overload of homework I was given. It was completley and utterly ridiculous. Thankfully, things began to slow down slightly as the year progressed, but at times I could feel the stress of school work preparing to crush me.

Along with the struggle of school, various other storms have rolled through my life. Although I do not care to mention all of these events I will say that a rainbow, in any shape or form, does appear after every storm. For instance, I have a much closer bond with my girlfriends, and I feel like I have gained so much through developing friendships. Within this past year I have also discovered that I would like very much to travel, not just throughout the U.S., but to various other countries as well. It most definitely excites me to find that my heart is eager to do mission work and I absolutely cannot wait for college to put all of my interests into use.

It is quite obvious to me that even though I have experienced some hecticness throughout the year, I have managed to gain understanding of the fact that God has a plan for my life. He has most definitely shown me that He remains to be there no matter how many times I get frustrated with Him, and despite every struggle I have gone through, I still believe my life to be truly blessed.

In saying all of this, I would like to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures:

"I say this because I know what I am planning for you," says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me! I will let you find me."--Jeremiah 29:11-14

Love Through It All

Sometimes its hard to be a good friend. Sometimes you have no idea what to do or what to say. And Sometimes, you've said all you can say and leaving it up to God is all you can do.

Haven't you ever just needed a friend to sit with you when the going got tough, or someone to listen to you as you sat there and rambled on about everything that seemed to be going wrong in your life? I can honestly say that I have needed this from time to time, and I know I'm not the only one. Lets face it, life pretty much SUCKS when you don't have a friend.

Although friendships are difficult at times, I believe that if you make it a key to love someone through it all, you are capable of being a good friend. Of course, this is never easy due to the fact that we are all human and we all make so many mistakes. Sometimes people are going to let you down and you're going to be upset. But maybe, if we put down our pride, we will be able to look past a person's flaw and realize that we all make mistakes and that nobody is perfect.

I have always made it a point, or atleast tried my best, to love a person no matter what. You can't say you'll love someone IF they don't hurt you, IF they do this, or IF they do that. You've got to look at it as I'll love this person DESPITE the fact that they let you down, DESPITE the fact that they have this flaw or that flaw. I think in order to be a good friend you HAVE to Love that person NO MATTER WHAT.

So maybe next time a friend disappoints us, we can find it in ourselves to swallow every bit of pride we have, and love them Despite (fill in blank here). After all, what happens when the tables turn, and you're the one needing a friend?

Beauty through the Fog

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."

What do you really think of this quote? You may be thinking that it was said by someone who has an amazing life and has gotten everything they've ever asked for. You might be picturing how their life is...gigantic house, five cars, expensive clothes, etc. I mean, come on, only a person that has a great life can have that kind of outlook, right?

What if I told you that the person who said this didn't have any of those things? The person who said this wasn't looked upon as anything special, atleast not in their time. Infact, they weren't even seen as a person to some people. To some people, they were only seen as someone who didn't deserve to live. For part of their life, infact, they didn't even have a home. What if I told you that the person that said this was a girl by the name of Anne Frank?

Now what do you think of the quote? Have your thoughts changed?

I must say that it's kind of a slap in the face for me. I mean, to think of all the things I've pouted about that weren't even that big of a deal. Sometimes, I just need to stop and say "Hey, Tara, what's your problem? Why can't you just be thankful for what you've got?"

I don't think of myself as someone who has a terrible life. Infact, I think I am very blessed. I don't really have much to complain about most of the time. I mean, I do have stuff in my life that is pretty upsetting sometimes and I do believe it is okay to cry and be upset. But what about the little things like not getting to hang out with our friends on a Friday night or something. I mean, is that really something we need to pout about? Does it really matter? "God forbid we have a tweak in our schedule"-I think that is what most of our outlooks are like. We don't like it when things don't go our way and for some reason we think there is no better way to deal with it than just to be angry and stamp our feet like a little two year old in a grocery store.

I think Anne Frank made a good point when she said, "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." And I think its something we all need to think about next time we have a tiny glitch in our life.